Azi nu am chef de nimic, azi nu vreau sa mi se vorbeasca de doctrine, nu vreau sa mi se spuna ca daca nu il aleg pe Dumnezeu voi arde in focul iadului. E vorba de o alegere pana la urma. Asa ne spun si preotii, si pastorii, si predicatorii, toti cei care se numesc crestini. Eu am insa o intrebare simpla: Cei care se nasc cu probleme psihice grave, cu retard mintal, cei care nu pot sa aleaga nimic toata viata lor, cei care nu sunt constienti de ei si traiesc in ospicii, inchisi pana la moarte la psihiatrie, aceia vor ajunge in iad sau in rai? Ei nu pot sa Il aleaga pe Dumnezeu! Ii va alege El pe ei? Cu ei ce se intampla?
Lumea e atat de complicata, iar fiinta umana e atat de complexa incat doctrinele imi par uneori doar propaganda….. Ajutati-ma sa inteleg!!!!
Cine poate fi crestin?
Lovely creature…..
Omul este o creatura minunata; nu pentru ca poate fi bun, poate oferi iubire sau pentru ca e frumos, ci pentru ca poate simti cu atata intensitate incat, uneori, isi depaseste limita de fiinta umana, devenind fiinta a universului. Este o creatura slaba, se teme, este furioasa, e capabila de ura, sufera, e un amalgam de sentimente contradictorii, pare un intreg viu ce pulseaza de emotii atat de tare incat ajunge sa sangereze. De ce e acest lucru minunat? E minunat pentru ca atunci cand o astfel de creatura intra in contact cu mine, simt ca sunt vie, ca traiesc, simt nevoia ca sangele meu sa se imbine cu al ei si astfel sa se creeze o legatura dincolo de aparente.
Vreau sa fiu iubita neconditionat. Vreau sa fiu iubita pentru ca am o personalitate goala, pentru ca sunt o nimeni, pentru ca sufletul meu simte si ura, pentru ca ma tem, pentru ca sunt slaba, pentru ca gresesc, pentru ca nu stiu cine sunt. Sunt o individualitate, o fiinta ce nu exista decat o singura data si tocmai pentru acest lucru vreau sa fiu iubita.
El e o creatura care, atata timp cat exista, atata timp cat respira, ma tine si pe mine in viata. E o fiinta poate plina de venin, intunecata, o fiinta pe care nu o cunosc, dar pe care am simtit-o in adancul inimii si asta a fost de ajuns. Am nevoie sa stiu ca si el se trezeste in fiecare dimineata, ca zambeste, ca plange, ca se hraneste, ca este acolo undeva; am nevoie de prezenta lui in aceasta lume. Albastrul…… cat timp albastrul respira, respir si eu……
Fassade…..
Uneori ma simt impovarata de faptul ca sunt om, de faptul ca trebuie sa il inteleg si sa il accept pe cel de langa mine. Exista atatea emotii in jurul meu, atatea trairi, toate inchise in diferite trupuri, in diferite minti, iar eu, odata intrata in contact cu ele, trebuie sa imi asum responsabilitatea acestui contact. E greu sa privesti pe celalalt prin prisma emotiilor lui, a gandurilor lui, e greu sa il intelegi si acest lucru poate deveni obositor. De aceea uneori ma agat cu disperare de aparente, de ceea ce vad prin mine, ma agat de mintea si sufletul meu care filtreaza pe ceilalti si ma face sa-i percep uneori gresit. Aceste aparente ma dor, desi e mai usor sa traiesti cu ele, sa judeci oamenii dupa ele, decat sa ii atingi in adancul lor, sa intri in contact cu esenta lor, aceea a faptului ca sunt fiinte umane ca si mine.
Oamenii se tem, oamenii mint, oamenii fug de responsabilitati, dar tot oamenii sunt cei care tanjesc cu disperare dupa iubire, dupa adevar, dupa speranta. Shauen sie hinter die Fassaden!….adica sa privim dincolo de aparente, dincolo de ce ni se pare ca intelegem, dincolo de minciuna, de slabiciunea celui de langa noi….sa vedem in spatele omului ceea ce este el de fapt….un suflet, o fiinta vie….sa nu facem din ceilalti simple proiectii ale mintii noastre.
The Last Temptation
My principal anguish and the source of all my joys and sorrows from my youth onward has been the incessant, merciless battle between the spirit and the flesh.
Within me are the dark immemorial forces of the Evil One, human and pre-human, of God – and my soul is the arena where these two armies have clashed and met.
The anguish has been intense. I loved my body and did not want it to perish; I loved my soul and did not want it to decay. I have fought to reconcile these two primordial forces which are so contrary to one another, to make them realize that they are not enemies but rather fellow-workers, so that they might rejoice in their harmony – And so that I might rejoice with them.
Every man parttakes of the divine nature in both his spirit and his flesh. That is why the mystery of Christ is not simply a mystery for a particular creed: it is universal. The struggle between God and man breaks out in everyone, together with the longing for reconciliation. Most often this struggle is unconscious and shortlived. A weak soul does not have the endurance to resist the flesh for very long. It grows heavy, becomes flesh itself, and the contest ends. BUt among responsible men, men who keep their eyes riveted day and night upon the Supreme Duty, the conflict between flesh and spirit breaks out mercilessly and may last until death.
The stronger the soul and the flesh. the more fruitful the struggle and the richer the final harmony. God does not love weak souls and flabby flesh. The Spirit wants to have to wrestle with flesh which is strong and full of resistance. It is a carnivorous bird which is incessantly hungry; it eats flesh and by assimilating it, makes it disappear.
Struggle between the flesh and the spirit, rebellion and resistance, reconciliation and submission, and finally – the supreme purpose of the struggle – the union with God: this was the ascent taken by Christ, the ascent which invites us to take as well, following his bloody tracks.
This is the Supreme Duty of the man who struggles – to set out for the lofty peak which Christ, the first-born son of salvation, attained. How can we begin?
If we are to be able to follow him we must have a profound knowledge of his conflict, we must relive his anguish: his victory over the blossoming snares of the earth, his sacrifice of the great and small joys of men and his ascent from sacrifice to sacrifice, exploit to exploit, to martyrdom’s summit, the Cross.
I never followed Christ’s bloody journey to Golgotha with such terror, I never relived his Life and Passion with such intensity, such understanding and love, as during the days and nights when I wrote The Last Temptation. While setting down this confession of the anguish and the great hope of mankind I was so moved that my eyes filled with tears. I had never felt the blood of Christ fall drop by drop into my heart with so much sweetness, so much pain.
In order to mount to the Cross, the summit of sacrifice, and to God, the summit of immateriality, Christ passed through all the stages which the man who struggles passes through. That is why his suffering is so familiar to us; that is why we share it, and why his final victory seems to us much our own future victory. That part of Christ’s nature which was profoundly human helps us to understand him and love him and to pursue his Passion as though it were our own. If he had not within him this warm human element, he would never be able to touch our hearts with such assurance and tenderness; he would not be able to become a model for our lives. We struggle, we see him struggle also, and we find strenght. We see that we are not all alone in the world: he is fighting at our side.
Every moment of Christ’s life is a conflict and a victory. He conquered the invincible enchantment of simple human pleasures; he conquered temptations, continually transubstantiated flesh into spirit, and ascended. Reaching the summit of Golgotha, he mounted the Cross.
But even there his struggle did not end. Temptation-The Last Temptation-was waiting for him upon the Cross. Before the fainted eyes of the Crucified the spirit of the Evil One, in an instantaneous flash, unfolded the deceptive vision of a calm and happy life. It seemd to Christ that he had taken the smooth, easy road of men. He had married and fathered children. People loved and respected him. Now, and old man, he sat on the threshold of his house and smiled with satisfaction as he recalled the longings of his youth. How splendidly, how sensibly he had acted in choosing the road of men! What insanity to have wanted to save the world! What joy to have escaped the privations, the tortures, the Cross!
This was the Last Temptation which came in the space of a lightning flash to trouble the Savour’s final moments.
But all at once Christ shook his head violently, opened his eyes and saw. No, he was not a traitor, glory be to God! He was not a deserter. He had accomplished the mission which the Lord had entrusted to him. He had not married, had not lived a happy life. He had reached the summit of sacrifice: he was nailed upon the Cross.
Content, he closed his eyes. And then there was a great triumphant cry: It is accomplished!
In other words: I have accomplished my duty, I am being crucified, I did not fall into temptation…..
This book was written because I wanted to offer a supreme model to the man who struggles; I wanted to show him that he must not fear pain, temptation or death – because all three can be conquered, all three have already been conquered. Christ suffered pain, and since then pain has been sanctified. Temptation fought until the very last moment to lead him astray, and Temptation was defeated. Christ died on the Cross, and at that instant death was vanquished forever.
Every obstacle in his journey became a milestone, an occasion for further triumph. We have a model in front of us now, a model who blazes our trail and gives us strenght.
This book is not a biography, it is the confession of every man who struggles. In publishing it I have fulfilled my duty, the duty of a person who struggled much, was much embittered in his life, and had many hopes. I am certain that every free man who reads this book, so filled as it is with love, will more than ever before, better than ever before, love Christ.”
Nikos Kazantzakis
A intelege inseamna a muri….
A.E. Baconsky – Biserica Neagra
Ana Blandiana
I
Dupa felul in care aluneca luna…..
Simt ca te apropii intotdeauna
Dupa zapaceala mestecenilor
Care-ncep sa se agite
Si sa fosneasca-n nestire,
Dupa felul nesigur
In care aluneca luna,
Tu esti atat de inalt si de subtire
Si ti-e atat de frig.
Cu-o mana peste ochi
Si tremurand desferici
Paduri fara frunze,
Sate fara biserici…
Intoarce-te,
Intoarce-te mai repede,
Spune zilelor sa te lepede,
Apelor sa te lunece,
Stelelor sa te-ntunece.
Inchide ochii, florile
Pe care le privesti se sting.
Pasarile pe care le privesti apun,
Apele se fac mai mici.
Nu e vina ta, limpedele meu mire,
Tu esti atat de inalt si de subtire…
II
Oh, trupul tau
Oh, trupul tau il vad printre cerneala,
Cerneala-nnamolindu-ne si-n somn
Ca o sudoare acra animala.
Vreau sa te ajung
Si degetele-mi luneca,
Nu te mai vad,
Abia te-aud,
Spune-mi, mai spune-mi
Ca la fel ne-ntuneca
Vartejul in care m-afund.
Te chem,
Dar, violent ca dintr-o rana,
Cerneala izvoraste intre noi.
Ma mai cunosti, ma mai astepti,
Ma mai ingadui inapoi,
Ma mai primesti din vanatul noroi?
Mai vii
Peste campii albastre,
Mari pustii,
Inlacrimat si mut
Ca sa iti pot intinde
O gura tremurata spre sarut
Cu buze-nvinetite de cuvinte?
A matter of life and death….
I have an empthy heart! A heart that can survive only inside my world, a heart that doesn’t beat, a heart that yearns to die. I’ve been crucified by the citizens of my world. They decided that, in order for me to rescue them, I have to die….. so I did and now I am damned to be the god of my world…the saviour of all the voices that are living inside me. I’ve been sent away from the real life, I’ve been put to sleep and as a god that I am, I am cursed to live forever in coldness, in cruel eternity, all alone.
What is death? There is no death! Death was invented so that when the road of life is over, we get to finish the game and call ourseves winners or losers. Death is just a new life with new rules….we are like Sisif…we always run but we never reach an end.
If there is no real death, why do I feel it inside me every day? Why I feel less and less alive? Death keeps me in its cage, locked up, doomed to touch everyone that is on the other side, but never to embrace them. I’ve called death my friend and now it is here forever. I heard it call once, I answered it and now, because I didn’t have the courage to let it be my master, it waits patiently untill I decide. Death found a shelter in one of the rooms of my heart and loves me with the greatest love in the world, but a love that does not have the power to kneel me, but only to blind me and leave me numb….numb to everything. “
BrideOfCain
Ultima scrisoare…
Am ramas fara cuvinte la “citirea” acestei scrisori…..inima a plans la durerea lui…….astept parerea voastra…..
Sarutul mortii….
Sarutul ar trebui poate sa fie un legamant de iubire, de afectiune, de devotament. Astazi a ajuns o simpla distractie, un schimb de fluide. Acela este pentru mine sarutul mortii. L-am gustat de curand si a fost minunat, dar minunea e de fapt un blestem aici, un blestem ce a rupt o bucata din mine, din sufletul meu…..ce din pacate nu mai e intact. Am invatat insa ca pot iubi si cu ramasite de suflet!
Fugiti de sarutul mortii, de sarutul gol care nu inseamna nimic!!!!!Nu va costa nimic sa asteptati!!!!
Iubesc barbatul….
Nu sunt o feminista!N-am fost niciodata!Dimpotriva, iubesc barbatul si vreau sa apartin lui cu toata fiinta mea!Uneori insa asta inseamna durere, o durere pe care barbatul poate nu o intelege pentru ca el sufera in alt mod decat femeia. Sa fim ingaduitori cu durerea lui si cu durerea ei…….







